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liverwurst: “What kind of sandwich do you want, ham or liverwurst?”
i hate mondays: my favorite email of 2006
for me to poupon: Give me some white toilet paper, because I need to shit… shit some gold!
natural’s not in it: A Gang of Four performance works like this: The music is chopped up funk, and the lyrics a juxtaposition of the everyday and the dreadful, like death’s heads pasted onto the Sunday newspaper advertisements. Andy Gill is the Straight Man, his gaze fixed dead ahead, pointing the neck of his guitar into a roiling crowd he probably can’t see. Jon King is The Fool.
i had to stay in the freezer all thursday eve: We got in a tan van, us two in the back with Steve McGarrett from “Hawaii-Five-O” at the steering wheel. Speeding away we slide into a parking lot and all in slow motion these tough guys appear. We argue and fight and one pulls a knife. He hits me in the back, but I’m all right I’m all right I’m all right I’m all right
i didn’t do it: my favorite email of 2005
shite and onions!: THE NYMPH: (Her fingers in her ears) And words. They are not in my dictionary. BLOOM: You understood them? THE YEWS: Ssh.
i am the cosmos: ‘All violent feelings have the same effect. They produce in us a falseness in all our impressions of external things, which I would generally characterize as the pathetic fallacy.’
the new york times crossword, no. 0713: 30-Across is “CORKER”
olympic highlights from the nightclub tv: Competing for his third Olympic crown, Arrichion had found himself being choked in a stranglehold from behind. Unable to free himself from the ferocious grip, Arrichion managed to grip his opponent’s ankle and twist it until it broke. In agony his opponent submitted, but by then the damage was done - Arrichion’s throat had been crushed and even as he was proclaimed the winner, he breathed his last.
sammy: sammy the cat, rest in peace
the great communicators: The gun used was a Rohm RG-14 revolver in .22LR caliber, with a 1-7/8 inch barrel. The serial number was L731332.
for the price of a good dinner: boring administrative hooha regarding the sudden increase in my operating expenses
ass poetry #1: first in a series
golden hours: The passage of time / Is flicking dimly up on the screen / I can’t see the lines / I used to think I could read between
with apologies to myles na gopaleen: and the plain people of ireland, too
aptitude for reduction: introduction (state thesis). supporting paragraph #1 (main idea, example, example, example, conclusion). #2. #3. conclusion.
notes on the yale gaze: It was fun for a while / there was no way of knowing / more than this
trinity of dumb fear: Three is a magic number, yes it is, it’s a magic number. Somewhere in the ancient, mystic trinity, you get three as a magic number. The past and the present and the future, Faith and Hope and Charity, the heart and the brain and the body, give you three as a magic number.
my library was dukedom large enough: The contents of these ‘Kunstkammers’ vary according to their owners’ tastes, but basically they have the same aim: to be comprehensive and encyclopaedic, to be a microcosm of the whole world gathered under one roof. Furthermore they were created for the glory of prince and country, while at the same time having an educational purpose. This latter aim was specifically mentioned by Peter the Great on the opening of his Kunstkammer in S. Petersburg in 1714. ‘I want people to look and learn,’ he declared.
you and your book and your porter: For like the campbells acoming with a fork lance of lightning, Jarl von Hoother Boanerges himself, the old terror of the dames, came hip hop handihap out through the pikeopened arkway of his three shuttoned castles, in his broadginger hat and his civic chollar and his allabuff hemmed and his bullbraggin soxandgloves and his ladbroke breeks and his cattegut bandolair and his furframed panuncular cumbottes like a rudd yellan gruebleen orangeman in his violet indigonation, to the whole longth of the strongth of his bowman’s bill.
my x-mas list: That is not it at all, That is not what I meant, at all.
the thing i liked the most: About my favorite place in the world. If you don’t get it, you must understand that I really like slides.
popped off: A brief conversation regarding the demise of Ippolit Matveyevich’s (late, deceased, dead) mother-in-law, Madam Petukhova.
decision 2004: Billy: I’m scared Poncho. Poncho: Bullshit! You ain’t afraid of no man! Billy: There’s something out there waiting for us, and it ain’t no man. We’re all gonna die.
things to do today: Buy a pack of squares, explain the situation, have him sign the documents, remember gloves
also in the caves: Because of constant drips and flowing water, the formations retain a luster that can be seen in few caverns. Under these growth conditions the formations appear to be made of wax, yet are as hard as limestone.
on mirrors: Time goes by, so slow, when you’re stuck to me.
the sleeper awakens: It is by will alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of Sapho that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, stains become a warning. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.
not funny: I’ve committed human rights abuses in my heart many times. This is something God recognizes I will do — and I have done it — and God forgives me for it.
my dad vs. rock: “As sensually gratifying as it is cornball retro-moronic, ‘Electric’ can lay claim to one of history’s worst versions of ‘Born to Be Wild.’”
blog shit: inept, insipid, heavy-footed and barbarous homonymerie without the slightest sense
dot dash: if you keep on repeating, repeating the words, it becomes increasing, increasingly absurd
untitled tract published in bordeaux in april, 1968: Here, take this ratty old pamphlet. For the striking workers and teachers in France.
L.H.O.O.Q.: “Don’t tell me what I can do, or I’ll have my moustache eat your beard.”
knife goes in, guts come out: Perhaps the only sign of hope in the film is the suggestion that people in the future are using tachyon beams to send a message back into the past to be apprehended as dreams by the scientists. Although the content of the message is never quite revealed, it is clear it is a warning.
interview: We know nothing. We record, calculate, draw conclusions. Your replies were difficult and sometimes impossible to codify. We deduce a below-average intelligence. We are sometimes in mortal need of inferior intelligences. At other times we have a no less mortal distrust of them. We will call you back.
dead souls: Someone take these dreams away / That point me to another day / A duel of personalities / That stretch all true reality / And keep calling me
W.A.S.T.E.: “Write by WASTE,” she said, “remember. The government will open it if you use the other. The dolphins will be mad.” “I love you, ma,” he said. “Love the dolphins,” she advised him. “Write by WASTE.”
you are the flesh of my flesh: Do you have any idea how expensive coffee machines can be?
mom: a mother’s day appreciation.
where is salam pax?: I am still offering to volunteer if they do some cosmetic changes to their name. They have their hearts in the right place, unlike most other parties who have their hearts near their wallets. But “Communist?” I will look like a “Communards” fan if I start wearing red stars and buttons with the sickle-and-hammer thing. Nothing against Mr. Sommerville…
something fishy: While googling around for recipes today, I stumbled upon this outburst: One warning about Vietnamese food….fish sauce!!! It is one of their favorite seasonings…. The waiter said to me “fish sauce vegetarian!!” and when I explained that I did not want the fish sauce and could he ask the cook to leave it out, he again said, in a…
“j’aime les ponies”: Nerd alert, more bookmarklets. This first set takes advantage of Google’s translation service: english to french english to german english to spanish english to italian english to portuguese french to english german to english spanish to english italian to english portuguese to english Create a folder called “translate” or the like in your bookmarks toolbar (in IE, this would…
mauvaise foi: “Like placard-sized wolfbane against the masturbatory cult of Saddam Hussein”
Vietnam, a comic by Julian Bond: After being barred three times from taking his elected seat in the Georgia House of Representatives because of his vocal opposition to the war in Vietnam, Julian Bond wrote a short comic book called Vietnam. Vietnam is targeted to African Americans, connecting anti-war politics with the movement for civil rights and equality in America. Its history of the wars…
if fishes were wishes…: If fishes were wishes, the ocean would be all of our desire.
tear it up!: Here I am, rolling around on Hoss and Elliott’s new backyard halfpipe. I know it’s not cool to wear a helmet, but I believe that safety is fundamental, and I’ve never been a good skater, so please don’t laugh at me. It took several beers to work up the courage to do this….
for example: pointing out inconsistency is perhaps too easy lately
a footnote from the Philippine-American War, 1898: Executive Mansion, Washington, December 21, 1898. The destruction of the Spanish fleet in the harbor of Manila by the United States naval squadron commanded by Rear-Admiral Dewey, followed by the reduction of the city and the surrender of the Spanish forces, practically effected the conquest of the Philippine Islands and the suspension of the Spanish sovereignty therein. With the…
the importance of dialogue: Do you ever try talking to your co-workers about politics? Do you ever talk to cats or dogs? Which do you prefer?…
come and get it: This is for Mike: ping_chompy plugin for Blosxom 2.0. Let me know if it doesn’t work!…
and you know what else?: I vow never to make fun of Mormons again….
a list, in no particular order: French people I’ve read and loved. Or liked, at least.
the streets got your baby: Walking home from the grocery store last night, encumbered with onions and paper towels and thoughts of work, I was nearly forced from the sidewalk as a pack of ten-year olds on bicycles sped past, one turning around long enough to fix a gaze of utter contempt on me and yell, “SKATE ATX!”…
nerdpile: Wherein I offload a big, boring list of links in lieu of taking the effort to write anything remotely interesting or worthwhile.
whited sepulchres: “My humanity is not to be debated, nor is it to be used simply to illustrate European problems.” Chinua Achebe discusses Joseph Conrad and Heart of Darkness in The Guardian. Chinua Achebe’s lecture “An Image of Africa: Racism in Conrad’s Heart of Darkness”. Cedric Watts: “‘A Bloody Racist’: About Achebe’s View of Conrad” (access restricted to UT students)….
housekeeping: chompy odds and ends
last week I dreamt of Nintendo: The game Animal Crossing begins with the player moving into a modest cottage with a dusty stone floor and an overturned crate for a table. A friendly if overbearing raccoon named Tom Nook is waiting by the train station when you arrive at your village, and though he had seemed to be doing you a favor at the time,…
the dogs of anti-war: Photographs against war
anti-war rallies Saturday: Saturday appears to be a big day for rallies against the looming war in Iraq. Footstools will be provided, and at exactly 1930 GMT, peace-loving people around the world will simultaneously leap to the ground, unleashing colossal seismic forces that we expect will engulf the White House in a fury of tidal waves, swiftly sweeping it into international waters,…
rice!: I love rice! Not the university, which put me on their “waiting list,” not the band, though they’re not bad, but rice, the food. Rice. I like rice. Basmati rice, Texmati rice, jasmine rice, Spanish rice, arborio rice and risotto, sticky rice with mangoes, peppers stuffed with rice, rice soup, Rice-A-Roni, even Rice Chex. I like rice cookers, rice…
facts: When Sir Walter Raleigh was imprisoned in the Tower of London, he occupied himself with writing a history of the world. He had finished the first volume and was at work on the second when there was a scuffle between some workmen beneath the window of his cell, and one of the men was killed. In spite of diligent…
i ♥ jackie chan: Shanghai Knights opens this weekend! Meanwhile, the Dobie Theater is running a series of Pedro Almodóvar movies and a series of Akira Kurosawa movies. Is this not the best of times? Don’t answer that….
lightning enlightenment: These goddamn Chuck Taylors hurt my feet. I’m old. But I like the rock ‘n’ roll. This is what I heard tonight: “Arabs stand over here, and you two, you’re Japanese, stand right here.” “I’m an interracial, motherfucker!” “The penis is mesmerizing.” What does this all mean? It’s a koan. I’m lying. Listen, I’m going to tell you a…
‘We sacrifice for the liberty of strangers.’: I think one of the more frightening words I learned as a freshman in high school was one favored especially by a certain prominent and infamously amoral German American statesman: realpolitik. I’m nearly twice as old now, and equally horrified, equally afraid, though the men of power couldn’t be any more different. They act in the name of peace,…
oh yeah!: Guyana Punch Line are fucking cool. I feel energized and invigorated. At least, I did for the fifteen minutes that they played (including the 3-second encore). Looks like they’ll be in Denton on the 6th, and I’m damn tempted to skip work and see them again. Maybe they’ll have some new Texas jokes by then. Don’t google for the…
*sigh*: Rumsfeld dismisses French
qiu ju and other stories: The Austin Film Society’s new free film series, entitled “The Fifth Generation: Chinese Films of the Past Two Decades,” began today. Tonight we saw The Story of Qiu Ju, directed by Zhang Yimou and starring Gong Li. It tells the story of a peasant woman who stubbornly works her way up a chain of bureaucracy to seek an apology…
out of breath: Nine people attended the 9:40 Dobie Theater screening of Jean-Luc Godard’s newish movie In Praise of Love (original title: Éloge de l’Amour) last Saturday night, and three of them couldn’t sit still, giggling and talking in some strange and unfamiliar language, dropping things under their seats and crawling around with lit cigarette lighters. The couple in front of us…
LibraryLookup: Austin Public Library Lookup UT Austin Library Lookup Drag one of the links above to the link toolbar of your web browser (or bookmark it — the links won’t work if you simply click on them from this page, though). You may want to rename the link to something succinct and meaningful, like ‘APL Lookup.’ Look up a book…
and that’s the end of that: One of my favorite college electives was a classics class, “Caesar and Augustus.” Or as Dr. Gwyn Morgan, he of the peculiarly dynamic voice, would say, “CAESAR! …and Augustus.” Dr. Morgan, a swaggering, greasy-haired Welshman, blue-jeaned and smoky, held the title of coolest professor at UT, unlike another professor of mine, philosophy professor Robert Solomon, who, chest hair puffing…
safari: I just spent a few minutes trying out Apple’s new web browser, Safari. It’s fast, the interface is clean and elegant, and it blocks pop-ups, but the rendering engine is distressingly buggy. I don’t care for it. A new browser with a (more or less) new rendering engine brings with it an entirely new and vexing set of quirks,…
news://rss.cpl593h.net:1119/: news://rss.cpl593h.net:1119/: browse RSS feeds with your newsreader. If you’ve never read Usenet news or used a newsreader before, this post may not interest you. Read on for more details. If you do try this out, please add a comment, because I’m interested in hearing your feedback. The software is at version 0.1, and is therefore likely to be buggy,…
dr. feelgood: So I have an Aretha Franklin album with a song called “Dr. Feelgood.” I can’t tell you if the song’s good or bad, though, thanks to Motley Crüe….
on sharing: One of these sites is not like the others: Pirated Sites UI Patterns Electronic Frontier Foundation Put another way: “Plagiarism is necessary; progress implies it.” — Comte de Lautréamont, 1870 “Plagiarism is necessary; progress implies it.” — Guy Debord, 1967…
my stupid thinking is non-stop: I seem to be regressing to the mental state of my 18-year old self. My brain won’t shut up. I can’t sleep. I bought a journal. I’m filling every 9×14cm gridded sheet with lists of things that drive me nuts. I want to blame New Year’s, which grips me yearly with a special, wintry dread; it’s a holiday that…
random: I’m going to be an uncle. My brother’s wife (sister-in-law? I can’t decide which phrase sounds less impersonal) announced on Christmas Eve that she’s three months pregnant. Of course, Tamara, my mom, and my little brother’s girlfriend suspected as much already. I’m going to be the uncle that teaches the kid how to swear. Maybe now would be a…
faces of death: Lately I’ve been finding ladybug corpses strewn on the ground before me. In the front bedroom, by the green armchair. In a hallway leading to my cube, opposite a freshly painted wall. At the bookstore, in Classics, under Flannery O’Connor, where they did not have a copy of Wise Blood. When I was a sophomore or junior in college,…
spaceship no future: Don’t you think Chris should write something new for the SNF front page?…
driving even, over the median: Three days without a cigarette have sent my lungs into fits of hoarse, hacking expectoration. Three days of Robitussin DM have addled my brains to the point of uselessness. I think slowly and I work only with great effort and deliberation. My thoughts come one at time, ghostly and indistinct, like coded transmissions from another world. I hear my…
i bought a new car!: A thousand thank yous to Sean, Dakota, and Tamara for their invaluable assistance. Now if only I could figure out how to drive this thing……
i cherish your right to shut up: I want to comment briefly on anger as it relates to a couple prior discussions, and I want to talk about why I don’t appreciate finding glib comments like this on my web site: I doubt that a non-white racial-stereotype would be received as cooly. Do homosexuals have a better sense of humor than minorities? I understand that everyone…
my x-mas list: axolotl labyrinth non-allergenic cat (furry) pack of multicolored sharpies spirograph wall-sized map of the world red pushpins asylum…
Solaris, again: I think Mr. Filthy is a better movie critic than I. Well-crafted cynicism continues to be more worthwhile than all the world’s sincerity. In other (and possibly final) Solaris news, I bought the Criterion reissue of the Tarkovsky movie, which is brimming with nifty extras, like a fascinating interview with the very animated and longwinded Natalya Bondarchuk — in…
goodbye, old austin: Sound Exchange is closing. Photos by Tamara, I think.
smartypants: I installed a Movable Type plugin called SmartyPants that converts the straight quotes and apostrophes that you type into typographically correct “smart” quotes. It also works on ellipses and dashes, if you like. I’m not sure if I like it, because “smart” quotes don’t necessarily display correctly on every system out there, plus it screws up leading single quotes…
Solaris: Tamara and I watched Tarkovsky’s Solaris Friday night, which happened to be on television, and — my mom’s immediate plunge into sleep notwithstanding — we were surprised to find it more riveting the second time around. Still beautiful, but much more engaging and concrete; it’s worth watching if you’re of an appropriate temperament. I also must take this opportunity…
pep rally!: In my dream last night, Karla had returned from her year-long stay in Japan, so Tamara, Hoss, and I took her to a high school pep rally, declaring it to be in her honor. New Order and Salt ‘N Pepa blared over a single loudspeaker, the drill team stomped around in tasseled boots, the cheerleaders tossed themselves to and…
dorking it up: Tamara left for Houston to shoot the Bad Apples, but I’m sticking around because I’m still coughing up bits of my lungs. It occurs to me that I should’ve asked her to bring back a dessert from the House of Pies, but it’s too late now. I spent the last couple of hours tinkering with SNF and chompy. Thanks…
a schematic representation of my head:
private things: Sometimes I want to write things here that are only for me, that no one else can see. I need to write it just to get it out, like screaming in a jar, maybe, or maybe because thoughts only really have a chance to live or die once they’ve been fished out of the head and thrown onto a…
dear mary: “Do you read the papers?” she asked. “No,” he said. “Well, there’s this woman in it named Mary Brittle that tells you what to do when you don’t know. I wrote her a letter and ast her what I was to do. “I says, ‘Dear Mary, I am a bastard and a bastard shall not enter the kingdom of…
metroid prime: I love Metroid Prime. At times it is necessary to roll up into a little metallic sphere and zoom around, pooping out little glowing bombs. In truth, I can’t think of anything I’d rather do with my life than transform myself into a little bouncy ball and roll around the world, delighting in all of the humble but elemental…
punk rock: It shouldn’t have to be said, but punk rock is many things to many people. It is this to me: Punk rock is 1969, 1977, 1980, 1985, 1991, 2002, and all the times inbetween, but most of all it is now. It is about choosing your own friends and your own identity on your own terms because everyone else…
16x16: Can anyone here draw? I’m looking for an icon. A computer icon, not a religious icon — I don’t need one of those. For example: The icon I’m looking for, though, would have to be exactly 16 by 16 pixels, which is quite small. This icon would have to express — with love and economy, using a scant 256…
cubivore!: —> cubivore! cubivore!…
the Sammy Rescue Fund: This is just a reminder that Sarah is taking contributions for Sammy the cat’s veterinary expenses. So far, she’s received only three donations. To donate, open a Paypal account, then click on “Send Money” from the Paypal web site, and type in “s.looney@alumni.utexas.net” as the recipient….
breathless: Mmm, French cigarettes. So refined, so decadent! Actually, my cigarettes are made from Virginia tobacco; real French tobacco is black and makes me want to die….
no rest for the stupid: I haven’t had a vacation this year because we’ve been too busy at work, with several back-to-back releases. I wasn’t even allowed to take a three or four day weekend when we went to Surfside last month because we had so much work to do. I was waiting until the fall to figure out vacation plans because I was…
valis: Today on the link-o-matic, Tamara posted the Religious Experience of Philip K. Dick. When I was 18, I got a job at a Bookstop, and worked there for the next two summers and Christmases. After my first few paychecks, I asked all my coworkers to recommend books for me to buy (before I realized that I could just come…
sammy: Thanks to everyone who helped out Sammy of Roosevelt this weekend. I think the little guy’s going to be fine. I should add that Sarah started up a Sammy Rescue Fund, if you want to help out with his veterinary expenses. It’s either that or decapitating him and mailing his brain to a lab….
friday at beerland: Last night Hoss drove us over to Beerland, where we filled up on whiskey and Lone Star and watched the Bad Apples and the Hate Daggers. The Bad Apples played a fun, tight set, something worth remarking on since they lost much of their equipment yesterday to a car thief. There’s brilliant pop potential in their material and in…
chompy-notify code posted: The chompy-notify source code has been posted, along with instructions for configuring your weblog to ping it. This code was posted to satisfy the requirements of the GPL. Nothing to see, move along….
chomp!: There’s been a slight lull at work for the past couple hours, so I was finally able to finish the work I was doing on chompy.net’s front page. It takes advantage of a feature of Movable Type 2.5 that ‘pings’ specially written servers to notify them of an update. So chompy.net now receives those pings, and additionally goes out…
american dreams: Last night I dreamt of Phil Donahue wheeling around a casino on a rolling pool table, tap dancing and knocking over senators with a cue stick as he whizzed about, finally tumbling down a long flight of stairs and into a large body of water. A few nights ago, I dreamt that I was fighting some anonymous bully who…
le week end: Tamara’s finally coming back tonight from her weeklong tour of the American midwest, and I couldn’t be happier. There’s one small problem, though: What in God’s name should I do with this corpse? Oh well. Bernie may be dead, but he’s still the life of the party!…
fire in Saigon: Depending on the source, from 50 to 100 people died yesterday in an office building fire in Saigon. Firefighters were unable to adequately respond due to “low water pressure, poor equipment and too-short ladders.” Among the dead is a Vietnamese-American from California named Vi Ai Hu. Ai is my brother’s name, and it means love. I read about major…
another boring computer thing: I was bored tonight, so I wrote an SNF search plugin for use with the crappy Mozilla web browser and the incomparably good Phoenix web browser. Look at it go! (Technically, the thing can be used with Sherlock if you have Max OS X, but I have no idea how that would work.) Granted, I predict that exactly one…
axis & allies: the makings of the Greater East Tabletop Co-Prosperity Sphere
on dreams: The dreams we recount are never the ones we actually see in our sleep.
a typical morning conversation before i leave for work: T: Peeny wally. J: Willy-nilly. T: Argy-bargy. J: Higgledy-piggledy. T: Hocus-pocus….
associate QA analyst: After reading the last entry, you might think me an ingrate, one sadly lacking in perspective. But this is not so. For example: Today at work, a staff meeting was held, and the executive who runs our site stood before the west washrooms with a microphone and briefed us on our present difficulties, our strained customer relations, and our…
the saturn L200: After paying twenty bucks at the gas pump with the Impala, I brought it back to the rental agency and asked for a smaller car. Now I’m driving the Saturn L200. I hate it. The Impala had his and her cigarette pack holders. The Saturn doesn’t even have an ashtray. The Impala went from zero to sixty in, I…
mushrooms and tacos: i love tacos
i am a tree: A great European master miniaturist and another great master artist are walking through a Frank meadow discussing virtuosity and art. As they stroll, a forest comes into view before them. The more expert of the two says to the other: “Painting in the new style demands such talent that if you depicted one of the trees in the forest,…
potato soup!: I like soup! But not as much as Tamara.
i just drank a bottle of nyquil: Because of much prodding from my friends, I called in sick today and made a doctor appointment to make sure that the car accident didn’t break my neck or give me cancer. The doctor gave me a clean bill of health, and recommended that I take a few Advils and do some stretching. I went home and took a…
but back to the beach: beach party 2002
the chevy impala: my car is smashed and my neck kinda hurts
cream of mushroom: While at the beach last Saturday, I dreamt of cream of mushroom beer. I was working as a waiter at a dim and tiny Japanese restaurant, moving from table to table, killing each patron. I don’t remember how. Every victim became a miniature rubber doll. No points of articulation. I would bring the dolls to the maitre d’, and…

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